Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Just busy

Sorry no postings lately. Like everyone else, I'm busy.

My friend DB and I chatted this am about inertia, which certainly has affected me lately and is affecting so many of us at church. For example, I wanted to join Daughters of the King this year but there have been no meetings. She says that with all there is in the larger TEC and the rest of the world that we have to try to help solve, no wonder everyone is tired.

She said that without knowing I've been wiped out. Like Eileen says, part of it is the time of year. Also, I think I'm just reacting to the huge changes in my life the last few months with our move and T's retirement.

So, what have I done these past couple of weeks? I've had an MRI and nerve conduction studies to try to rule out MS. My symptoms have always been like MS but I've never tested positive for it. And these tests were negative as well. I have a spinal tap in my future; that is the only test I've never had with any provider. I've had all the others multiple times. We'll see how all that goes.

I made an appointment for a second opinion with another orthodontist. With my other health issues (asthma, cardiac rhythm problems), I'd like to avoid jaw surgery if possible. I had contacted my original orthodontist's office to get records and casually mentioned that surgery had been recommended. Yesterday the orthodontist himself called me, quite agitated, to tell me that surgery makes things worse! I've not spoken with him since 1985 so I was quite impressed that he called me. Turns out he knows and trusts the orthodontist I'm seeing for a second opinion. Another stay tuned moment.

I reluctantly submitted an official resignation letter to the seminary. There is no way in the world I'm going to be able to return next year with all of the work being done on our house and whatever treatment I have to have for my jaw. I trust that things happen for a reason and I'll be able to return in God's time, not mine.

I also resigned from my EfM mentor position. Like I told everyone last night, I discerned this position with the idea that my life in Rapid City would be exactly the same when I came back as it was when I left. It is SO not the same. My attempts to make myself fit into something that has not worked since I started was causing me sleepless nights and a huge amount of dread. There is a difference between wanting to do something and actually doing it. The other mentor has been with this group for a long time and does a nice job; they will get along fine without me.

It is time to really, deeply discern what I am to do in this retired life. Maybe that means not taking on any new long term commitments right now. I have committed to a couple of projects--but when they are completed, I can forget about them. I'm looking forward to giving thanks tonight at church for my many blessings, and for spending time with friends tomorrow for Thanksgiving dessert.

Now it is time for my weekly bread baking session!

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