Welcome to being 50

I spent Tuesday at our local ER, being poked, prodded and scanned due to chest pain.

Actually, I'd had some chest pain while working out over a week ago. Then it came back Thursday prior to our Thanksgiving meal and never really went away.

Monday night I had a dizzy spell and almost fainted while watching TV with Taciturn, and it happened again Tuesday am while reading the paper. I began to think I should see my health provider; she directed me to the ER.

Being a former ICU nurse, I know I should have gone to the ER on Thursday. I already take a medication for a heart rhythm disturbance, which again should have spurred me to go. Denial is such a powerful weapon.

I knew I belonged there when just walking from the car to the ER desk wiped me out. They tossed me into a wheelchair and took me right to a room when there were people on guerneys lining the hallway. It took 3 nitro tabs and morphine to get me pain free. The cardiologist on call took me right to the lab for a stress/echo, which was normal. But, my heart rate was a bit slow, and I did report having periods of a very rapid heartbeat during the night, so my medication will be changed (one of these days; neither the cardiologist or my personal health provider want to actually write the prescription), and later today I will have an event monitor placed to wear for a month to catch all of those pesky episodes.

On my schedule this weekend was a retreat at Borderlands Ranch, at which I was to be a session leader. But Borderlands is 40 miles out in the country and I still am having periods of chest pain. I have elected to stay home. My friends who are going actually are relieved as they would have worried about me and what they would have done if I had passed out.

Needless to say, it has been a bit difficult to reflect on politics or faith except to be grateful for what I have. Odd, I was not the least bit anxious while in the ER. Having the knowledge about what goes on is very helpful, but also I was very aware that my days are in God's hands.

My real concern is about what would happen to my oral splint if I passed out and EMS had to come. I've instructed Taciturn to tell them not to toss it away!