Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Trip to Baltimore

Won't be happening. Not soon, anyway.

I told Taciturn before we left for our extended trip to Missouri that I wasn't going with him. I kind of blurted it out while cooking supper one night. His reaction actually was much better than I had anticipated; he certainly didn't act surprised. Of course, I had been saying all along I didn't want to go.

Being a verbal punching bag for an angry person is not my idea of fun.

Part of the reason we decided to take such a long trip was so he could drive to see his mom and step dad from Missouri, a very doable trip, rather than fly from South Dakota. He hates to fly. He had planned to arrive there yesterday, the date he set up with his mother during several phone calls.

However, when he called on New Year's Day to say hi, he mentioned that he would see them soon, and was told they were too busy for him to come. They both had to work.

This visit certainly was no surprise. If the problem was me (quite possible), he had mentioned that due to all of my own family stuff I wouldn't be coming. I have my own ideas about this--I think that since the AWM is definitely meaner to T's mother when he is not there than when he is (as attested to by T's sister as well as by me), he doesn't want T around. I've wondered if that was why AWM was so vicious to me the last visit. Perhaps he thought he could drive T away.

I feel bad for T. He's said a couple of times he wonders if he is welcome in his mother's home anymore (he wanted to visit mid 2008 and was told they were too busy). I'm sure his mother would welcome him, but she is not the one who makes those decisions. T has closed his eyes to the verbal abuse that his sister and I have heard; he says he can't believe it. From other comments he's made, he really doesn't get the psyche of abused women. I hope he gets to see her again.

Please pray for this situation. This is really sad.


mibi52 said...

Oh, sweetie, I am sorry this is all such a messed up situation, although I'm glad you've avoided the agita that going to Baltimore would bring. Mixed blessings, eh?

Thinking of you and wishing you were here taking the GOEs with us.

You're in my prayers.

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

This is sad for Taciturn and even more so for his mother. I'm sorry to hear about it.

Mary Beth said...

It's sickening. I'm sorry for everyone.


Mary Beth said...

And, re-reading this, I'm so very proud that you refused to walk back into a toxic situation.