Taciturn is on the road to Baltimore. He left yesterday am and baring misadventure, will arrive at his mom's house on Wed. He despises flying for various reasons, so although it takes so long to drive, he prefers to do that.
When we spoke last night on the phone, I asked him about the snow warnings for the Northeast. He said it will all be melted by the time he gets there.
Here's praying he is right! He is driving the least snow worthy of our three autos. It gets the best gas mileage, though.
He will be gone ten days. I am scheduled to work seven of those ten, and one of the days off is actually a sleep day, since I will have worked all night the night before. That was a convenient excuse to stay home, since T still hasn't told his folks that I plan never to visit again. He probably won't ever. Which is fine, there will just be excuse after excuse.
T is a bit concerned, though, about what he might find on this visit. He offhandedly mentioned the other night that "it's been over a year since I've seen them. I wonder how things really are?" He knows in his heart of hearts that the home of his mother and the Angry White Man is a dark place.
Prayers for all, please!
Showing posts with label AWM. Show all posts
Showing posts with label AWM. Show all posts
Monday, March 2, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
The Trip to Baltimore
Won't be happening. Not soon, anyway.
I told Taciturn before we left for our extended trip to Missouri that I wasn't going with him. I kind of blurted it out while cooking supper one night. His reaction actually was much better than I had anticipated; he certainly didn't act surprised. Of course, I had been saying all along I didn't want to go.
Being a verbal punching bag for an angry person is not my idea of fun.
Part of the reason we decided to take such a long trip was so he could drive to see his mom and step dad from Missouri, a very doable trip, rather than fly from South Dakota. He hates to fly. He had planned to arrive there yesterday, the date he set up with his mother during several phone calls.
However, when he called on New Year's Day to say hi, he mentioned that he would see them soon, and was told they were too busy for him to come. They both had to work.
This visit certainly was no surprise. If the problem was me (quite possible), he had mentioned that due to all of my own family stuff I wouldn't be coming. I have my own ideas about this--I think that since the AWM is definitely meaner to T's mother when he is not there than when he is (as attested to by T's sister as well as by me), he doesn't want T around. I've wondered if that was why AWM was so vicious to me the last visit. Perhaps he thought he could drive T away.
I feel bad for T. He's said a couple of times he wonders if he is welcome in his mother's home anymore (he wanted to visit mid 2008 and was told they were too busy). I'm sure his mother would welcome him, but she is not the one who makes those decisions. T has closed his eyes to the verbal abuse that his sister and I have heard; he says he can't believe it. From other comments he's made, he really doesn't get the psyche of abused women. I hope he gets to see her again.
Please pray for this situation. This is really sad.
I told Taciturn before we left for our extended trip to Missouri that I wasn't going with him. I kind of blurted it out while cooking supper one night. His reaction actually was much better than I had anticipated; he certainly didn't act surprised. Of course, I had been saying all along I didn't want to go.
Being a verbal punching bag for an angry person is not my idea of fun.
Part of the reason we decided to take such a long trip was so he could drive to see his mom and step dad from Missouri, a very doable trip, rather than fly from South Dakota. He hates to fly. He had planned to arrive there yesterday, the date he set up with his mother during several phone calls.
However, when he called on New Year's Day to say hi, he mentioned that he would see them soon, and was told they were too busy for him to come. They both had to work.
This visit certainly was no surprise. If the problem was me (quite possible), he had mentioned that due to all of my own family stuff I wouldn't be coming. I have my own ideas about this--I think that since the AWM is definitely meaner to T's mother when he is not there than when he is (as attested to by T's sister as well as by me), he doesn't want T around. I've wondered if that was why AWM was so vicious to me the last visit. Perhaps he thought he could drive T away.
I feel bad for T. He's said a couple of times he wonders if he is welcome in his mother's home anymore (he wanted to visit mid 2008 and was told they were too busy). I'm sure his mother would welcome him, but she is not the one who makes those decisions. T has closed his eyes to the verbal abuse that his sister and I have heard; he says he can't believe it. From other comments he's made, he really doesn't get the psyche of abused women. I hope he gets to see her again.
Please pray for this situation. This is really sad.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Birthday call
Taciturn and I called his step father, the Angry White Man, this am to wish him a happy 75th birthday. After talking to T for a while, he tried to get off of the phone without speaking to me but T kind of forced him to say hi. Of course, after the pleasantries he said: "(Incredibly racist joke about our new President elect)"
Me: Silence.
AWM: "What's wrong, didn't you get it?"
Me: "Oh. I. got. it. all. right."
AWM: "Well, I have to run off. Here's Reet (T's mom)!"
One of these days when it is not his birthday I should just tell him I'm offended. But then I'd have to face Taciturn, who willingly participates in the charade.
I've told T I do not want to go to Baltimore for the holidays. He is very unhappy. He thinks it is a phase I'm going through, and that I will get over it. When I told him that I absolutely was terrified during our last visit, he just poo-pooed my concerns. I told him I will not be someone's verbal punching bag. Anyway, I expect to be strong armed most of the rest of the time between now and that visit.
What I have noticed is the last time T spoke with his mom, he was starting to set up a scenario in which I would have to stay in MO for the holidays and help my folks due to my mom's ill health and my teenage niece's new baby, who is due in a couple of weeks. Everyone will know the real reason I am not going to Baltimore. This just will be the elephant in the room becoming larger.
Me: Silence.
AWM: "What's wrong, didn't you get it?"
Me: "Oh. I. got. it. all. right."
AWM: "Well, I have to run off. Here's Reet (T's mom)!"
One of these days when it is not his birthday I should just tell him I'm offended. But then I'd have to face Taciturn, who willingly participates in the charade.
I've told T I do not want to go to Baltimore for the holidays. He is very unhappy. He thinks it is a phase I'm going through, and that I will get over it. When I told him that I absolutely was terrified during our last visit, he just poo-pooed my concerns. I told him I will not be someone's verbal punching bag. Anyway, I expect to be strong armed most of the rest of the time between now and that visit.
What I have noticed is the last time T spoke with his mom, he was starting to set up a scenario in which I would have to stay in MO for the holidays and help my folks due to my mom's ill health and my teenage niece's new baby, who is due in a couple of weeks. Everyone will know the real reason I am not going to Baltimore. This just will be the elephant in the room becoming larger.
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