For the work to begin. Spiritual work, that is.
I've completed the rounds of explanations. Yesterday I had three meetings in a row; the last of which was my meeting with my now former rector to explain why I dropped off a letter of resignation, my church keys, and my vestry notebook and left. He had an idea of the problem which was my immediate reason for leaving, but had no idea it had reached the serious, threatening level it had. He now understands--kinda. He was a class act, though, giving me the gift of a prayer shawl to honor the work I had accomplished at the former parish. I am so humbled to receive that, a reminder of all of the prayers of the people who have surrounded me and continue to do so through prayer.
I did tell him that another person who is very involved was starting to toy with the idea of leaving due to her perception of the same problem I experienced. This new rector does not like to make changes in a parish for a year, or to take away people's ministries. However, in order to keep the trickle from turning into a flood (and the people who are leaving are in lay leadership, for Heaven's sake), he absolutely needs to do both. Besides, if a ministry no longer honors God but becomes only about personal power, then it ceases to be a ministry and certainly can be taken back. God gives ministry, and then that ministry is to be held lightly because in due season it might please God to have someone else do that ministry.
Today I start seeking a spiritual director to help me sort through some things, including why so many things I thought I'd discerned correctly have turned to crap. I know several people who visit a nun at the local Benedictine monastery. I've also gotten the name of a UCC minister that I plan to contact. I can't really start until October due to our upcoming vacation, but I need to start the legwork. In a few hours, I will gather with the new community for Morning Prayer. I'm so looking forward to that--for some reason, I have a sense of relief.