Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Catching up, Part I

Sorry I've not been around lately. My mother took a rapid, dramatic turn for the worse right after my last post and died on August 4. We left our vacation place in VT for my family home in MO as soon as we got the news that she was deteriorating, but we were unable to get there in time. In fact, she went so quickly it was as if she had leapt off of a cliff. The hospital called to tell the folks at home to get there pronto; they live ten minutes from the hospital and got there literally as Mom drew her last breath. Although I could not be there, I'm heartened to know that she died surrounded by family.

In accordance with Mom's wishes, my father opted to forego any memorial service or even visitation. Her body went straight from the hospital to the crematorium. Dad did not wish to purchase an urn from the funeral home as it was very expensive, so the undertaker sealed her cremains in a box for us to pick up. That was a surreal experience, let me tell you. The undertaker sat a small cubical box on the table and said, "Here she is." My brothers and I just stared. When we finally came around enough to take the box to the car, my brother put the box in his grandson's car seat. I had an irresistible urge to strap the box in.

Those ashes will be divided up. She wished for part of her ashes to be buried with my father when the time comes, and the rest to be scattered on her mother's grave in a small churchyard in east TN. Unfortunately, no one recalls the location of that small churchyard. My remaining aunt has only a vague idea; she plans to check with her children to see if they remember.

Poor Dad is devastated. Today would have been their 53rd wedding anniversary. I'll call later to check on him.

I miss Mom, but at the same time I rejoice that she now is held in God's comfortable arms. She had a great deal of emotional as well as physical pain during her life. Now that suffering is over.

As I continue to gather my thoughts, I'll post more.

7 comments:

ROBERTA said...

i feel the pain of your sudden loss and will pray for your time of grief. your mother can now see you in ways she never could while alive - w/o her own woundedness. she is now with the source of all that is good, and can now bless you in ways you never could imagine.
love,
roberta

Songbird said...

Oh, Lauralew. Thinking of you and your family.

Grandmère Mimi said...

Laurelew, I am so sorry. May your mom rest in peace and rise in glory. May God give comfort, consolation, and the peace that passes understanding to your father, to you, and to all who loved your mom.

Your mom has been through a lot, and you are right to rejoice that she is now held in God's comfortable arms

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

My heart goes out to your dad. Those milestones can be so hard, especially coming right after her passing.

You're in my thoughts as well.

Kirkepiscatoid said...

Prayers for all, including your dad.

I have to laugh, though, about the cremains. When my great aunt died, two of my second cousins brought her back and the surreal part was they kept laughing about how she would never fly in a plane, alive, but here she was in her cosmetic case, in the overhead compartment! Then one of them started to go into the men's room, he stopped and handed the case to the other cousin. "I just can't take her in the men's room."

Fran said...

Oh Laura... thank you for this. So much to process for you and your family.

My prayers are with you all.

I hope that your aunt can get some info so that your mother's wishes can be met.

God bless you all.

Sarah said...

Thank you for blogging about this. I can only imagine how strange it must have been so have a plain box placed in front of you and be told that you mother is inside of it. Prayers and hugs to you.